i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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