i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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