have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
