He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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