I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
