so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
