This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
