do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
