if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
