My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
