Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
