I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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