Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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