you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
