I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
