i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im drinking this country out of the recession.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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