Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
