Well apparently he's into motor boating.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
