i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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