I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have tasted many bathrooms
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
