I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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