Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
