It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I could fuck to npr.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
