Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
