I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's blow job season.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
