wrigley field is MILF paradise
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
