The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
