At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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