It's Friday. Sex?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
