Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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