i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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