She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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