i permit you to call me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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