i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
