I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
ttyl tear gas
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
