in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
