just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I party with great urgency now.
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