Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
