just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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