at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
