He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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