You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
