we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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