i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize