so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I need to align my fucking chakras
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