you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
