Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize