I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
