Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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