tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
