I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
