you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
