I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
