Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
