hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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