Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
