do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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