my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize