There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
