i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
