Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
50% drunk capacity currently
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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