Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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