I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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